In honor of the feast of Archangels this past weekend, I am writing down a bedtime story that my dad used to tell. St. Michael is the patron saint of the town of Argao, where my dad spent his childhood years after the war. It is a quiet, sleepy town that has not changed much since the days my cousins and I ran around town during the summers of our childhood. It was also the place where I learned to play mahjong, hahaha!

Long time ago, possibly before the St. Michael church was built, the Argawanons (as people from Argao are called) were put in a panic as pirate ships were seen approaching from a distance. Pirates were a menace to the towns south of Cebu during those days. The pirates cried out that if the people of Argao did not surrender their goods in the morning, the pirates would attack them with cannon blasts that will take them straight to kingdom come. In fear of their lives, the people of Argao prayed to St. Michael, the warrior of God, to save them from the pirates.

St. Michael heard their prayer. He disguised himself as a young boy, bringing a large container of tuba on his back. The pirate ships had moored themselves in an area a few miles away from the center of the town, and the mood in those ships was merry, in high anticipation of the next day’s haul. A couple of guards saw the young boy and captured him. In exchange for his freedom, the boy offered his tuba, the best in town, to the pirate captain. After making sure that the tuba was not poisoned, the captain and his men sat down to drink, and the tuba was so good that they continued drinking, and drinking, and drinking, until they fell asleep.

While they were asleep, St. Michael went around the ships, examining the cannons that the pirates were so proud of. One by one, he replaced the cannon balls with coconut husks. When his work was done, the boy disappeared.

Night turned into morning, and the people of Argao cowered in their homes, still hoping for a miracle. When no one came to meet him to offer their worldly treasures, the pirate captain roared that Argao and its people will be destroyed. He gave the signal to fire the cannons.

Plonk! What was that? Asked the captain. Something is wrong with the cannon. Fire another one!

Plonk! Another coconut husk fell into the water, floating merrily along the Argao beach.

Meanwhile, people came out of their houses, curious about the lack of hellfire and brimstone, and were met with the comical sight of the pirates firing coconuts onto the beach. Fear turned into laughter, and it was the laughter of the people that drove away the humiliated pirates. The captain realized that he had been duped, and how much that container of tuba had really cost him.

When word got around about what really happened, the people of Argao believed that it was Señor San Miguel himself, since no one could recall a boy of that description, and because no boy would dare let himself be caught by the pirates.

This is a picture of the church of St. Michael in Argao.

Today, at least...

The Yanks are in the play-offs! My fave Yanks being hazed in their rookie years...

The Blue Eagles beat La Salle by a point! One more win, and we're in the finals (I know, we haven't beaten La Salle whenever they have the twice to beat advantage, pero libre naman mangarap, di ba?).

Today, at least, is a good day...

Harry Potter in Ateneo

As forwarded by Jen Lee. Someone back home had too much time on his (or her) hands. All we need now is a photoshopped Dan Radcliffe wearing an Ateneo cap...and only an Ateneo cap, hahaha!!! If you haven't read the Seventh Book, okay lang, antayin mo na lang ang pelikula. But it's going to go a little something like...

(*Background Music*)
We stand on a hill
Between the earth and sky
"Song For Mary," Fr. James Reuter SJ

Chapter One: Before The Storm

Fr. Bienvenido Nebres SJ was just finishing the day's work when Harry Potter, a senior of the Ateneo de Manila, burst into his office.

"Fr Nebres!" Harry shouted

"Harry!" a surprised Nebres said. "I thought you were out of school destroying the horcruxes to kill Lord Voldemort."

"That's what I wanted to tell you. I discovered that there are two horcruxes here in Ateneo itself. Voldemort has enlisted the help of the De La Salle University and the University of Santo Tomas. They are coming."

Don't worry, Harry." Nebres said "You know for a fact that Ateneo-- its teachers and students -- are more than capable of defending our Loyola campus. We will hold them off while you search for the horcruxes and destroy them. You will need this." He waved of his wand and out of the air appeared a sword. "The sword of St. Ignatius." Nebres said.

"Powerful enough to destroy the two horcruxes."

"Thank you, Father" Harry said. And with that, he sped off to find the last two things which protect Lord Voldemort.

Nebres then waved his wand once more and this time, four people appeared in his office. "Marlu, Rudy, Toby and Joey. The school is in danger"

Nebres then explained the situation to the four Deans of the Ateneo de Manila University.

"I want you to assemble all remaining students in the college covered courts. We must evacuate the freshmen through Marikina. The sophomore, junior and senior students may stay and fight if they want to. Next, I need you to assemble all the teachers, both part time and full time."

Without a word, the four deans Disapparated and went on with their tasks. Nebres too Disapparated back to the Jesuit Residence and briefed the Society about the impending attack.

Fr. Adolfo Dacanay was the assigned to lead the Jesuits to battle "My team is ready to fight anytime anywhere. We will crush them!"

"Excellent." Nebres said

After a few minutes, Nebres, the four Deans and some members of the faculty and administration gathered in Xavier Hall to discuss the battle plan.

"The School of Humanities can summon mythical creatures to help defend us."
Marlu Vilches said "The English Department professors are summoning creatures from Dante's Inferno and Greek Mythology as we speak. The Filipino Department is summoning all the manananggals and white ladies from the haunted trees on campus"

"The Philosophy Department" interjected Fr. Ferriols "is summoning creatures from Meron pond right now. Those rascals will soon feel the wrath of Meron! Magiging WALA silang lahat! Konsepto lamang sila!"

"Now is the time to test the newest chemicals and inventions from our SEC laboratories. " Toby Dayrit said, "The Department of Environmental Science professors are enchanting the trees to life right now. We will purge them with the help of Mother Nature."

"I have just received a call from MVP" Rudy Ang said "Reinforcements from Makati are coming soon."

"My apples and sunshine are ready to fight as well" Tim Gabuna said. "Go CERSA!"

"I have just finished briefing my school. The Department of History is ready to fight. The Western history professors led by Dave Lozada and JoEd Tirol are summoning the three hundred Spartans and soldiers from the World War II to fight. Fr Bulatao and the Department of Psychology are locked inside the SocSci Conference room right now. They will use their psychic powers to toy with our enemy's mind."

"I have roused the athletes also." Norman Black beside Ricky Palou said. "They are ready to put up One Big Fight with their super strength."

A voice interrupted them. "I KNOW YOU ARE PREPARING TO FIGHT! You are no match for us! I have allied myself with the La Salle brothers and the Dominicans of UST. You cannot win against me, Jesuits. Push the limit! Animo Spirit! Give us Harry Potter and the sword of St. Ignatius and we will let you live! We will even let you win some of the games."

Chapter Two: More Help

The Ateneans ignored the warning and instead began to prepare for the impending battle. A few minutes later, the voice shouted for a second time:

"I can see you are not listening! It is such a pity. What happened to your Prayer for Generosity? Give me Harry Potter and the Sword of St Ignatius. Give without counting the cost, you always say! You have until midnight. I also call on all students of La Salle Greenhills and La Salle Zobel. It is not too late. Come and join us. Convert! Repent!"

Fr. Dacanay, interrupting his briefing with his exorcists turned and said "The idiot is taking the prayer out of context. Besides, St Ignatius also said to fight without fear of being wounded. And we will do just that."

Three figures -- two women and a man – suddenly appeared. "We are from the Department of Sociology and Anthropology" said the man.

“Ricky Abad!" Fr. Nebres exclaimed.

"I brought with me our Department Chair Bopeep Saloma-Akpedonu. And this is Czarina Medina, one of our newest lecturers. We apologize for being late. We were preparing our I-bombs."

"I-bombs? What are I-bombs?" Nebres asked.

"Ideology bombs. Once they detonate, they will spread false consciousness in the area -- the La Salle brothers and the Tomasians will think they are winning. It is all false really. We will use their pride against them."

"Excellent. Excellent." Nebres said. "And here comes Andrew Ty and Mark Escaler for the Department of Communication. "

"Yes!" Escaler said "we will infiltrate their communication processes by adding "noise" and ambiguity between the message relay of the sender and the receiver so orders can be reversed and thwarted!"

"The creatures from my horror films are coming!" Andrew Ty said. "We will use them to our advantage!"

"Father President! Some people are coming!" somebody shouted.

Some five hundred people then Apparated out of nowhere. Wearing either red or white shirts, they marched towards Nebres. A young man then stepped forward.

"We are from the University of the Philippines. " said the young man. "For years, our academic communities have built a strong relationship with each other. We have shared professors. We went to rallies together. We have had our differences. Yes. But in the end, our similarities and accomplishments outweigh our differences. .. We are here to help! We are honored to fight with Ateneo once more!"

Cheers and applause errupted from all sides.

"Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baka! Don't be takot! Let's make baba from the hill" the Ateneans cheered.
Five minutes to midnight.

The School of Humanities stood with their mythical creatures summoned from the Classics, and the haunted trees and the gigantic swamp creatues from the Meron pond.

The John Gokongwei School of Management with their reinforcements from Makati, along with Venus Ibarra, Ricky Pilar and other professors.

The School of Science and Engineering with their mysterious inventions and weapons. The gigantic trees in the campus now walking sluggishly by their side.

The School of Social Sciences with their unique yet powerful defensive weapons; the Psychology Department ready for the psy-war.

The Ateneo Professional Schools ready to defend their Loyola-based counterparts; the two fraternities in the Law School forging a temporary alliance.

The Alumni, the D.A. (Dalandan's Army), led by Benjie Laza and Mon Cualoping.

The statues of Tomas More, Horacio dela Costa, the Blue Eagle come to life.

The students from U.P.

Two horcruxes left.

Now all is still, where Loyola's colors fly.

Chapter Three: One Big Fight

Midnight.

There was a burst of light emanating from the sky, brighter than the moon and the stars. What seemed like a horde of fireflies turned out to be arrows. Thousands of arrows. Tips on fire.

The arrows struck the Blue Eagle Gym. The oldest building in the University. The symbol of their athletic pride. Now aflame.

Toby Dayrit tossed a beaker of water to the burning building. He pointed his wand at the beaker now mid-air and shouted his spell "Magis." The water transformed into a surf huge enough to douse the fire. The Blue Eagle Gym was safe.

The archers outside roared their disappointment. But they shot again, this time targeting the Erenchun soccer field where some of the Ateneans were camped. Nebres pointed his wand at the arrows raining from the sky and shouted his incantation "Cura personalis" and the thousand arrows turned into bubbles.

The Ateneans cheered. The first two attacks of the LaSallians and the Tomasians have been thwarted.

"You have had your fun, Ateneans." a voice boomed. "Now it is time to get serious."

Darkness suddenly enveloped the University. The enemy had sabotaged their electricity. Immediately all the Ateneans took out and flickered their wands, "Lux in Domino" they chanted. Light emanated from all the wands.

The illumination came just in time as suddenly a stampede crushed the fences between Gate 2 and Gate 2.5. The Ateneans have realized the magnitude of their danger: it was not just the LaSallians or even just the Tomasians they were confronting; the other schools were there as well. A thousand green archers were riding the backs of the giant tigers of UST. Charging with them were the giant tamaraws and a hundred warriors whose bodies were painted red war paint. Above, falcons were soaring in the sky.

"YOU FOUL THINGS, noh?" somebody from the Ateneo crowd shouted, charging at
the stampede; it was Tessa Rosana "How dare you attack us, noh? You don't know who you are dealing with, noh? TAKE THIS, noh?" She hit her gong with all her might. A powerful sound wave spread throughout the area knocking a hundred archers and animals out.

"Haha anoh?" she triumphantly yelled.

And so the other Ateneans started counterattacking as well. David Lozada and his 300 Spartans. The ROTC cadets. The mythical creatures of the School of Humanities. Dalandan's Army.

Ricky Abad and the Department of Sociology soon deployed their Ideology Bombs prompting some of the LaSallians to cheer instead of fighting. They cheered, "strawberry shortcake nananananana. " instead of "Recticano! Recticano". This allowed some of the Ateneans to easily knock the LaSallians out.

Somewhere near the Covered Courts, Norman Black was briefing his team, "Nonoy. I want you here. Chris, here. Jai, there. Alright? Any questions."

"Aaaaah! GOD DAMN IT!" a raspy voice screamed. It was Joe Lipa, former coach
of the Blue Eagles, who arrived with the contingent from UP. "Just charge! Attack them! Now!" And so they did.

The LaSalle brothers and Francisco of UST were outside, watching the battle, waiting for their turn to strike.

A handful of LaSallians were found trotting back to their base.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Francisco yelled.

"You told us to retreat!" the archer said.

"You idiot! That's just Escaler and Bulatao toying with your minds! Go back! That's it! I am joining the battle!"

She then stepped forward lifted her two arms and shouted "Tiger Power! Raar!
Tiger Power! Raar!" The LaSalle brothers thought she had lost her mind. But then she suddenly transformed into a giant tigress, twice larger and fiercer than the ordinary tigers. Seeing their comrade ready and willing to fight, the LaSallians cheered.

"HOY!" Goldie the Tiger roared "NO CHEERING DURING BATTLE! NO CHEERING!" Then she advanced.

Her first target was Fr. Dacanay who was busy exorcising some of the archers and paralyzing them.

"FATHER! Behind you!"

Quickly, Dacanay whirled and performed his own counterattack "Expellus Inferius" blasting her into the middle of the Erenchun field, knocking her out.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! " The La Salle brothers shouted upon seeing their comrade down.
"It is time we even the score."

The earth began to quake. And out of the night came a gigantic robot. It was DLRT; the LaSallians had transformed and brought the LRT-1 which passed Taft Avenue into a robot.

DLRT was making quick work of the Ateneans and their creatures—crushing the mythical creatures here and there, tossing the trees brought to life by the Department of Environmental Science.

"Let us not lose hope!" Nebres said. "We are after all committed to hope."

"Now is not the time to talk about GK, Father!" somebody said.

"I am not talking about GK. I am talking about SECtor."

He pointed his wand the Science Education Complex. The building shook and
assembled itself into a robot. SEC A was the head and the torso. SEC B became the left arm and leg and SEC-C became the right.

"Mang Freddie!" Nebres called.

"I am ready, Father!" shouted Freddie the man in charge of Escaler Hall which has now become the control room SECtor.

"Attack, Freddie! One Big Fight."

DLRT was no match and quickly collapsed under the strength of SECtor.

"Fr Nebres!" Harry Potter appeared. "Two horcruxes have been destroyed!"

"Animo La Salle!" "Animo La Salle!" "Animo La Salle!"

There were screams of terror. The LaSalle brothers had entered the battle.
They were using their most dangerous spell: The Animo LaSalle aka the
Killing Curse!

Finale: The Animo Wand

Ateneans were dropping dead left and right. The Animo La Salle curse was unblockable. Some of the more veteran teachers provided extra defense and
protection to the students but most of their efforts were futile.

Dacanay and his Jesuit team however managed to stun a few archers.

Victory however seemed far-fetched. Francisco had been revived from the
Stunning Spell by Dacanay. Back in human form, she was battling Jai Reyes,
Kirk Long and Chris Tiu at the same time. While the players were certainly
skillful, Francisco was able to block all spells launched by the Blue Eagles.

Francisco pointed her wand at Chris Tiu and shouted "Animo La Salle!" But
the curse missed him by an inch.

"Not Chris Tiu you BIATCH!" somebody shouted; it was Achoot Cuyegkeng. "Out
of my way! Out of my way! FRANCISO'S MINE!"

Francisco laughed. " You are no match for me! I am the greatest servant of the Dominicans! What's gonna happen to your Loyola Schools after I kill you?! What's gonna happen to your Blue Eagles after I kill Chrissy?"

"You will never touch any of our students again!!" Cuyegkeng said.

Francisco laughed. And with her unerring skill as jack-of-all- trades professor Cuygekeng sent a Stunning Curse at her opponent. The curse hit her squarely on the chest, knocking her out once more.

"Enough!" Harry shouted. "Voldemort! Where are you? You have been using the
LaSallians and the other schools to come after me.
Where are you?"

"I am here, Potter." a voice hissed. The voice came from Bro. Armin.

"Brother Armin?"

"No! I am Voldemort! Armin is my past, present and future. See?" he wrote
the word Armind then with a flicker of his wand the word became Voldemort.

"I don't get it." Harry said

"Ako rin!" an Atenean said.

"Ha? Can you make ulit?" another one shouted.

"How did Armin became Voldemort?"

"Bai, nalibog na ko!" A Cebuano Atenean shouted.

"Bah! Never mind! Anyone knows the LaSallians can't spell. So anyway, I stunned Armin a few days ago and using his name and face I used the school and all the other schools to come and find you!"

"But you are too late. I destroyed all the horcruxes"

"No, Potter. I win. You see, while I was Bro. Armind. I was able to find the long lost and most powerful wand in the entire world-- the Animo Wand! And you will be its first victim!"

"Are you kidding me, Tom?" Harry said "Don't you get it? The wand chooses the school. The Animo wand does not belong to La Salle! It belongs to the Ateneo."

"No! You are the fool! The LaSallians have been cheering Animo La Salle for such a long time. The LaSallians truly own the wand and since I am a LaSallian for now, I own it. Die Potter die!"

"But you see, Riddle, you did not review University histories. If you did, you would know that the Ateneans used Animo Ateneo first. And they still use it now. There is even a website right now named AnimoAteneo. com. The Ateneans have reclaimed Animo Ateneo!"

Silence.

"So. It comes down to this isn't it?" Harry whispered "Does your wand know that its original owner still values it? If it does, I AM THE TRUE MASTER OF THE ANIMO WAND!"

Voldemort points his wand at Harry who in turn has prepared for the final duel.

"ANIMO LA SALLE!" Voldemort shouted.

"OH! GET. THAT. WAND!" Harry shouted.

The curse rebounded and hit Voldemort instead of Harry who caught the Animo Wand with his other hand. Cheers from the Ateneans and even some La Sallians, who realized that they were duped were all around.

That morning both Ateneo and La Salle forged a cease fire, a temporary one because the next day was the Ateneo-La Salle basketball championship. Francisco who was revived after hours of being stunned by Dacanay and Cuyegkeng decided to lift the "No Cheering!" rule during time out. However, she still flinches whenever Dacanay (or any Jesuit for that matter) would approach her.

There were however, a group of La Sallians who disagreed with having a cease fire. They believed that the death and defeat of Voldemort was unfair so they decided to file a protest. This was later junked due to lack of merit.

Epilogue. Nineteen years later.

It was the day of the ACET.

Harry Potter was accompanying his son Ben.

"Dad! What if I fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?"

Harry looked at his son and said "Bienvenido Adolfo! You were named after two of the most powerful Jesuits in the country. One of them is a good friend of ours. In fact he was the one who officiated your parents’ marriage."

"But... but... so what if I DO fail the ACET and end up in DLSU?"

Eh di bobo ka talaga! Harry thought. But he didn't say that. "But we will still love you as our son!" Harry said. "Alright. Your test starts in a few minutes. Make us proud. One Big Fight."*

Accomplished

“Then,” observed Elizabeth, “you must comprehend a great deal in your idea of an accomplished woman.”

“Yes, I do comprehend a great deal in it.”

“Oh! certainly,” cried his faithful assistant, “no one can be really esteemed accomplished who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half-deserved.”

“All this she must possess,” added Darcy, “and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.”

“I am no longer surprised at your knowing only six accomplished women.
I rather wonder now at your knowing any.”

I’m not really sure what brought this on. Maybe I was bored. Maybe it was the “big word” contest from Monday night. The above passage from Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice haunted me during a morning which by all rights should be slow, mundane, and mindless. In the middle of turning the heel of my radioactive-colored sock, I turned the question over and over in my head.

Am I an accomplished woman?

Certainly, I would have been a failure in Miss Catherine Bingley’s eyes. I can hardly claim to have a thorough knowledge of music (unless you count knowing the lyrics of Air Supply’s All Out of Love). I cannot own up to any superior grasp of modern languages. Aside from being able to spit out a “merde” every now and then, my certifications in the French language mean absolutely nothing. My watercolors are barely passable, and only a loving mother would hang them up on her walls. I am not a graceful dancer, and I don’t know how to net purses (what is this, exactly?).

In Austen-speak, “I play the pianoforte very ill.”

Darcy adds his own stipulation. An accomplished woman must have a brain, and she improves her mind through extensive reading. I wonder if he meant to include the pile of US Weekly magazines in our living room...oh, excuse me...our drawing room.

Austen’s world seemed to demand a lot from their women. And for what? So that they could be married off to the first rich bastard that comes along? Because “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

I believe that my parents wanted me to be “accomplished”. Doing less than brilliantly in school was unacceptable. My sisters and I were encouraged to take music lessons. Reading good books was a must. I used to smuggle into the house the Sweet Valley books my classmates lent me because Mother would disapprove. We were writing poetry and fiction. Movies were carefully monitored. Both parents prepped us for oratorical contests. I remember my mother insisting that I memorize Brutus’ speech from Julius Caesar, instead of Antony’s, and I always wondered why. Wasn’t Brutus the bad guy? Twenty years later, I got my answer. In the HBO series Rome, Antony tells Brutus that his (Brutus’) speech was good, only it was too cerebral for the mob.

Any excuse to put Tobias Menzies on my page.

So at thirty years of age, can I look back at my life and tell myself, “That will do, Pig?”

And if I considered myself accomplished, what with my taste in trivia, my joy in cooking, my unfinished knitting projects, my ability to say “bullshit” in French, my god-awful Ipod playlists, my knack of picking out offensive fragrances, and my two-year losing battle with my dissertation, what will all my accomplishments bring me? Respect? Fulfillment? Pleasure?

A husband?

My air and my manner of walking? I got them all from my dad...

Bits and Pieces

As classes have started a couple of weeks ago, there really isn’t much to write, or much time to write. Early morning classes drain the life out of me. I really enjoy teaching, but when I get home in the afternoon, all I want to do is curl up and...you know what I mean.

On the plus side, yoga classes have started again (ohmmmmmm...). As my classmates get progressively younger with each semester, and Tom gets more insane with the routines, my hips and my back and my knees hurt more and more. The great thing about yoga is you don’t feel the pain while you are doing the routine. In fact, you are really in synch with your body during the session. Try getting out of bed two days later, and you’ll hear everything creak. I was able to do a headstand after being bullied constantly by a good friend, but only for a couple of seconds. I NEED TO DO A HEADSTAND AWAY FROM THE WALL!

A couple of highlights from the past week. A few days ago, I posted my review on my new HG fragrance Tabac Blond, and I just wanted to share my experience at the Caron boutique. One can obtain les Carons at other upscale department stores, but there is only ONE Caron Boutique in the US. Many fragrance lovers make pilgrimages to NYC, hoping to be sanctified by a whiff of Parfum Sacre (okay, I suck at purple prose). I’ve never been to the new location, but I was able to visit the old boutique once, and though I didn’t buy a fragrance then, I was overwhelmed by the sight of the Baccarat urns used to store the extraits.

So when roomie and I arrived at the address, my heart sank at the smallness of the space, and the non-existence of the urns. I stammered to the man who was at the reception, stammering incoherently about the urns. He smiled kindly and pressed a button to open the elevator, and said that he would tell the ladies upstairs to expect us. When the doors opened, I thought I saw heaven, and it looked a little something like this...

Then finally, the moment of truth. I already knew what I was going to get, and I told the lovely lady who was helping us that I needed the Tabac Blond extrait. I watched attentively as she decanted the golden liquid from the urn into the cut crystal bottle. She then pressed the label unto the bottle, and nestled it into its own lovely box, before presenting it to me. It was mine, all mine!

The second highlight of my week was more stressful, although it gave me as much pleasure as my new fragrance. Sunday night, I received an email from the Metropolitan Opera, reminding me of the open house on Thursday. Open house is such an unassuming term. What the Met means when it says open house is a free performance of the opera that will be shown during the gala opening (Lucia di Lammermoor). It is technically the final dress rehearsal, but what I found out from last year was that the press is also invited, and I got a lot of insight from the critics who were seated RIGHT BEHIND ME. There is a light lunch served in the lobbies, where opera lovers could compare notes during the intermission. In the afternoon, the audience gets to meet the artists and the production crew as they talk about the preparations for the opera. Last year, Anthony Minghella, who directed Madama Butterfly (and more famously, The English Patient and Cold Mountain).

Instead of lining up at the crack of dawn, the Met distributed the free tickets online and over the phone. After numbing my fingertips at keyboard and keypad, I finally got into the Met hotline. Then was put on hold for 30 minutes. I begun humming voi che sapete over and over. Finally, the voice of an angel came to my rescue, telling me that the ticket has been reserved, but that I had to get my ass to Lincoln Center right away in order to pick up good seats. Damn. Should have come to the Met, then dialed the trunkline while I was there. Still I got good orchestra tickets, although not as good as last years. Did I mention that as soon as I put down the phone, I ran to the RamVan, missed it, waited for the next one, got on it, arrived at the Lincoln Center campus in 30 minutes, fell in line at the Met for 15 minutes, picked up my ticket, ran back to the RamVan in time for the next trip. If you read that last sentence out loud without breathing, that’s how I felt when I got back to the Bronx. Did I mention I had yoga after that, too?

How has your week been?

I’ve always been very fond of cream sauces. One of my favorite memories is that one time my mother served lengua pastel during the feast of St. Josemaria Escriva. The recipe was a bit complicated, so my mother never repeated the performance. The memory lingers, however, and the hunger manifests in other ways. The term “pastel,” if I am not mistaken, refers to the fact that the meat mixture is placed in a pastry (pasta, pâte, etc.), but in my mind, it also describes the way the dish looks like when it is covered in a blanket of white sauce: reds become pinks, browns become beiges, and greens become seafoam (okay, that was a bit of a stretch).

As I do not have the time to create this magnificent dish, I find other ways to satisfy my craving for creamy sauces. Beef stroganoff, a Russian dish of beef served in a sour cream sauce, is one of the easiest comfort dishes I have come across. In fact, the most time consuming procedure for this dish is to slice the beef into strips (and to julienne the vegetables, if you prefer a version with vegetables). This recipe is for a “white” stroganoff as opposed to a “red” stroganoff that has tomato paste. I love the white and red reference though; it’s so Russia circa 1917.

The photo below comes from the website fortas.eu, a restaurant in Vilnius, Lithuania.

As with all my recipes, use with discretion. I abhor measuring anything, but I taste a lot during cooking, and make my adjustments then. My family belongs to a mutant race of salt eaters, so any amount of salt that I put into my dishes should be...taken with a grain of salt (I am definitely losing my mind).

Ingredients:

About a pound of beef. Any cut that one uses for steak, sliced in strips

4 large cloves of garlic. I tend to go insane with the garlic, but this should be enough;

1 large yellow onion, julienned

white wine, maybe about a cup of it, depending on how dry or saucy you want the dish to be

a cup of sour cream

sliced vegetables (carrots, button mushrooms and broccoli)

enough olive oil to brown the meat

salt and freshly cracked pepper

good amount of parmesan cheese


Brown the meat in batches. This is important so that the meat will sear instead of braising. You don’t need to cook it at this stage...a minute or two in the pan is probably enough. Remove meat from the pan. Some people like to dredge the meat in flour before browning, but the point of this recipe is to make the dish fast.

In the same pan, cook the garlic and the onions until you have a little bit of caramelization (there are brown bits...good flavor that). Make sure the onions are soft before adding the meat back into the pan. Splash the wine in, making sure to dissolve the brown bits at the bottom of the pan with it. After this, you may add the vegetables, if desired. When most of the liquid has boiled off, add the sour cream, and heat through. Season to taste.

Serve the stroganoff with rice (for a Filipino twist) although this is also good with noodles (I love it with angel hair) and top with a generous amount of parmesan cheese.

Beef Stroganoff

I’ve always been very fond of cream sauces. One of my favorite memories is that one time my mother served lengua pastel during the feast of St. Josemaria Escriva. The recipe was a bit complicated, so my mother never repeated the performance. The memory lingers, however, and the hunger manifests in other ways. The term “pastel,” if I am not mistaken, refers to the fact that the meat mixture is placed in a pastry (pasta, pâte, etc.), but in my mind, it also describes the way the dish looks like when it is covered in a blanket of white sauce: reds become pinks, browns become beiges, and greens become seafoam (okay, that was a bit of a stretch).

As I do not have the time to create this magnificent dish, I find other ways to satisfy my craving for creamy sauces. Beef stroganoff, a Russian dish of beef served in a sour cream sauce, is one of the easiest comfort dishes I have come across. In fact, the most time consuming procedure for this dish is to slice the beef into strips (and to julienne the vegetables, if you prefer a version with vegetables). This recipe is for a “white” stroganoff as opposed to a “red” stroganoff that has tomato paste. I love the white and red reference though; it’s so Russia circa 1917.

The photo below comes from the website fortas.eu, a restaurant in Vilnius, Lithuania.

As with all my recipes, use with discretion. I abhor measuring anything, but I taste a lot during cooking, and make my adjustments then. My family belongs to a mutant race of salt eaters, so any amount of salt that I put into my dishes should be...taken with a grain of salt (I am definitely losing my mind).

Ingredients:

About a pound of beef. Any cut that one uses for steak, sliced in strips

4 large cloves of garlic. I tend to go insane with the garlic, but this should be enough;

1 large yellow onion, julienned

white wine, maybe about a cup of it, depending on how dry or saucy you want the dish to be

a cup of sour cream

sliced vegetables (carrots, button mushrooms and broccoli)

enough olive oil to brown the meat

salt and freshly cracked pepper

good amount of parmesan cheese


Brown the meat in batches. This is important so that the meat will sear instead of braising. You don’t need to cook it at this stage...a minute or two in the pan is probably enough. Remove meat from the pan. Some people like to dredge the meat in flour before browning, but the point of this recipe is to make the dish fast.

In the same pan, cook the garlic and the onions until you have a little bit of caramelization (there are brown bits...good flavor that). Make sure the onions are soft before adding the meat back into the pan. Splash the wine in, making sure to dissolve the brown bits at the bottom of the pan with it. After this, you may add the vegetables, if desired. When most of the liquid has boiled off, add the sour cream, and heat through. Season to taste.

Serve the stroganoff with rice (for a Filipino twist) although this is also good with noodles (I love it with angel hair) and top with a generous amount of parmesan cheese.