In honor of the feast of Archangels this past weekend, I am writing down a bedtime story that my dad used to tell. St. Michael is the patron saint of the town of Argao, where my dad spent his childhood years after the war. It is a quiet, sleepy town that has not changed much since the days my cousins and I ran around town during the summers of our childhood. It was also the place where I learned to play mahjong, hahaha!

Long time ago, possibly before the St. Michael church was built, the Argawanons (as people from Argao are called) were put in a panic as pirate ships were seen approaching from a distance. Pirates were a menace to the towns south of Cebu during those days. The pirates cried out that if the people of Argao did not surrender their goods in the morning, the pirates would attack them with cannon blasts that will take them straight to kingdom come. In fear of their lives, the people of Argao prayed to St. Michael, the warrior of God, to save them from the pirates.

St. Michael heard their prayer. He disguised himself as a young boy, bringing a large container of tuba on his back. The pirate ships had moored themselves in an area a few miles away from the center of the town, and the mood in those ships was merry, in high anticipation of the next day’s haul. A couple of guards saw the young boy and captured him. In exchange for his freedom, the boy offered his tuba, the best in town, to the pirate captain. After making sure that the tuba was not poisoned, the captain and his men sat down to drink, and the tuba was so good that they continued drinking, and drinking, and drinking, until they fell asleep.

While they were asleep, St. Michael went around the ships, examining the cannons that the pirates were so proud of. One by one, he replaced the cannon balls with coconut husks. When his work was done, the boy disappeared.

Night turned into morning, and the people of Argao cowered in their homes, still hoping for a miracle. When no one came to meet him to offer their worldly treasures, the pirate captain roared that Argao and its people will be destroyed. He gave the signal to fire the cannons.

Plonk! What was that? Asked the captain. Something is wrong with the cannon. Fire another one!

Plonk! Another coconut husk fell into the water, floating merrily along the Argao beach.

Meanwhile, people came out of their houses, curious about the lack of hellfire and brimstone, and were met with the comical sight of the pirates firing coconuts onto the beach. Fear turned into laughter, and it was the laughter of the people that drove away the humiliated pirates. The captain realized that he had been duped, and how much that container of tuba had really cost him.

When word got around about what really happened, the people of Argao believed that it was Señor San Miguel himself, since no one could recall a boy of that description, and because no boy would dare let himself be caught by the pirates.

This is a picture of the church of St. Michael in Argao.